Forgiven and Forgiving

Photo: Young Adults Bible Study Small Group.

An Unobeyable Command?

In a recent discussion about Christian reconciliation and forgiveness, we discussed Jesus’ command for ongoing forgiveness. Specifically, desired a deeper understanding of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18:21–22:

[21] Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” [22] Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. 

In following this command, a common concern for Christians is: “What if it’s too hard to forgive someone for the same thing over and over again?” "What if they do not change and keep repeating the same offense?" "What if it is too painful for me every time I receive such treatment or words?"

These concerns are understandable, as it can be frustrating or even exhausting when our patience, sacrifice and forgiveness seem ignored and cast aside by someone we are trying to serve and forgive. The two things we may struggle with include: (1) our opinion that they don’t deserve forgiveness anymore, or (2) discouragement that I don't have it in me to forgive anymore. 

A broader look at the context of these verses will help us to understand what Jesus wants from us and for us: 

• Verses 10-14. In the Parable of the Lost Sheep, Jesus first gives us a glimpse into His heart. He describes the sheep that got itself into trouble by straying, then shows how his shepherd’s heart drives him to GO and pursue the sheep to save it. 

• Verses 15-20. In His teaching about forgiveness, he commands His disciples to GO and seek to forgive. The hope is that they might “gain” a brother. This is the same idea Paul conveys when he says that he made himself a “servant to all that [he] might win more of them… that [he] may share with them in [the gospel’s] blessings” (1 Corinthians 9:19,23). Jesus wants us to share in His heart for restoration of others.

• Verses 21-22. Jesus’ command about forgiving 70 times 7 times was a response to a proud individual's boast. In question form, he was boasting that that he’s willing to put up with the sins of those around him even up to 7 times, thinking he would be commended by Jesus! Jesus humbles him by saying that He wants us to be instruments of his grace in a manner far beyond our own abilities.   

• Verses 23-35. Immediately after his command for us to forgive in a limitless way, Jesus reminds us that we have been forgiven for far worse things. Thus, it is only appropriate that we would forgive others. If we do not forgive others, we are not remembering and appreciating how much we have been forgiven by Jesus (the King of Kings!). 

A Sober Look at Ourselves

But the reality of our lives as Christians is that we sometimes do not forgive, and we too often take for granted the forgiveness that we received. As Christians, we are still broken in many ways and we have much in sin our hearts, so we will not be able to obey this command on our own. 

Now can we see what Jesus is really saying to us in this passage? His point was not to say, “Here, I have established the bar; now jump and reach it.” He was saying, “This is what I want from you, but you cannot do it on your own. Apart from me, you can do nothing. So keep near to me and make yourself available to be used by me.” His message was for us to: 

• Not think we’re doing good enough

• Not compare ourselves with others (either pridefully or insecurely)

• Regularly repent of sin and be assured of forgiveness

• Always abide in Jesus as we make our effort to genuinely forgive others “from our heart” (v.35). 

More than Forgiveness

The incredible news is that when we seek to forgive others by remaining near to Jesus, not only do others experience Christ’s grace through us, but we also grow in a deeper understanding and fuller experience of His grace. We get a taste of how humbling and powerful it was for Jesus to atone for and justify undeserving sinners like us. We also gain more of His heart for those who may be like “sheep without a shepherd”. 

May your desire and efforts to forgive draw you closer to Jesus. Then at the end of it all, it’s a win for us. Our main objective of forgiving others should not be to soothe our own conscience and remove the negative emotions that we harbor towards someone who has wronged us. In such a case, we will soon run out of love and mercy. Rather, through forgiveness, let's seek to to honor Christ, to restore a fellow believer, and to know His grace more. Then keep your eyes and hearts wide open, for He will do much more than you ask or imagine!